| Andrew Postman's 162 Reasons We're Glad
Baseball's Back |
| No. |
Reason |
| 1. |
World Series afterglow.
The 1996 triumph by the long-lost Yankees left a sweet aftertaste
in almost every fan's mouth - except perhaps Ted Turner's. |
| 2. |
For the Boston Red
Sox and the Chicago Cubs, this is next year. |
| 3. |
Baseball moves faster
than golf. |
| 4. |
The labor agreement
between the owners and the players. Pinch us. |
| 5. |
Great new baseball
names like Arquimedez Pozo, Ugueth Urbina, and Pork Chop Pough. |
| 6. |
This is the year we
finally catch a foul ball. |
| 7. |
Legendary broadcaster
Vin Scully. |
| 8. |
Dick Vitale only covers
college basketball. |
| 9. |
Fewer guys are wearing
goatees. |
| 10. |
Boston Red Sox pitcher
Tim Wakefield will continue to get batters out with that cockamamy
knuckleball. |
| 11. |
The bratwursts at
Milwaukee's County Stadium. |
| 12. |
Maybe this year former
World Series goats Mitch Williams and Bill Buckner can enjoy
some peace. (Who am I kidding?) |
| 13. |
A new batch of rookies
in their first-ever at bats. |
| 14. |
Every rookie (see
no.13) who singles in his first-ever at bat, then stands on first,
nonchalantly tucking his batting gloves in his back pocket and
trying to look cool, when everyone can tell a smile is just aching
to explode across his face. |
| 15. |
Ninth-inning, two-out
rallies. |
| 16. |
Yet another season
for fans to marvel at how that crafty old ploy - pitcher-fakes-throw-to-third-then-wheels-around-to-mail-runner-napping-on-first
move - continues never to work. Never, ever. |
| 17. |
The strike zone will
get bigger. (Logic? It can't get smaller.) |
| 18. |
The chance to see
if Seattle Mariner Alex Rodriguez is for real, after he gave
us the most phenomenal season by a middle infielder. Ever. While
barely more than a rookie. |
| 19. |
The opening-month
fantasy: the one that has you calculating the seasonal stats
of your favorite player, who, if he can just maintain the pace
he set in the season-opening, three-game series against Colorado
Rockies pitching, is on pace to hit 216 HRs and 648 RBIs. |
| 20. |
The throwing. |
| 21. |
No clock. |
| 22. |
The Baseball Encyclopedia. |
| 23. |
Right before the Super
Bowl, The New York Times had to pad the front page of
its sports section with profiles of Dennis Rodman and Brian "the
Boz" Bosworth. |
| 24. |
6-4-3. |
| 25. |
Cubs rooters, those
beacons of dignity who, awash in a national sea of fair-weather
fans, continue their traditions of throwing back enemy homers
and never doing the wave. |
| 26. |
TV doesn't need to
make the ball a blue dot or a red whoosh to get us to watch. |
| 27. |
The phrase (about
any player who had only the briefest of major league careers)
"He was up for a cup of coffee." |
| 28. |
Interleague play.
Get ready Ohioans: Indians-Reds games count now. As do, Bay Area
fans, meetings of the A's and the Giants. Et cetera. |
| 29. |
This is still the
only sport you can enjoy on the radio. |
| 30. |
The hope, if utterly
unfounded, that the quality of callers to sports radio talk shows
will improve. |
| 31. |
After three-plus decades
in the game, Yankees manager-good guy Joe Torre finally gets
a World Series ring. |
| 32. |
The upper-deck, right-field
facing at Tiger Stadium. |
| 33. |
A team at the bottom
of the payroll list (maybe Montreal or Milwaukee) will give the
big-bucks boys (the Braves, the Orioles, the Yankees, the White
Sox) a run for their money, at least until September. |
| 34. |
Better April weather
than in 1996. We hope. |
| 35. |
The American flag
snapping in the afternoon wind at Wrigley Field, a sure sign
that despite the earnest efforts of pitchers who take the mound
that day (all 14 of them) the game will end up a 19-17 affair. |
| 36. |
Atlanta Braves ace
Greg Maddux, having not won the Cy Young for the first time in
four years, and having lost the final game of the World Series,
actually has something to prove. Scary. |
| 37. |
The trend in stadium
design toward greater intimacy (Baltimore, Cleveland, Texas)
and real grass (Kansas City, St. Louis and Denver). |
| 38. |
Some hotshot young
announcer with a great home run call. (May I try mine? "High.
Far. Gone. End of Story!" Okay, maybe not.) |
| 39. |
Great Cuban born players,
such as Osvaldo Fernandez of the Giants and Ariel Prieto of the
A's, making a good living playing with and against their equals. |
| 40. |
Chalk, rosin, eye
black. |
| 41. |
Seattle Mariners fireballer
Randy Johnson once more composing chin music. |
| 42. |
Oakland A's slugger
Mark McGwire uncoiling from his stance and giving the hoi polloi
in the fourth deck a chance to scramble for a loose ball. |
| 43. |
National League umpire
Jerry Crawford making a third-strike call, with mustard. |
| 44. |
Blue Jays catcher
Benito Santiago gunning a runner down at second, with time to
spare... from his knees. |
| 45. |
Kenny Lofton (Indians)
and Marquis Grissom (Braves), Havoc Lads nos. 1 and 2 on the
base paths, provoking migraines on the mound. |
| 46. |
Perennial batting
champs and future Hall of Famers Tony Gwynn (San Diego) and Wade
Boggs (New York) taking a close pitch and getting the call. Deservedly. |
| 47. |
The fastball of Atlanta
Braves stopper Mark Wohlers. |
| 48. |
The motion of New
York Yankees reliever Mariano Rivera. |
| 49. |
Florida Marlins outfielder-alchemist
Devon White climbing the wall to turn a homer into an out. |
| 50. |
Cal Ripken Jr. just
sitting in the Baltimore dugout, with blue-eyed intensity, watching
the game. |
| 51. |
A season of severely
decreased macarenas. |
| 52. |
The chance to pick
which Dodgers phenom wins Rookie of the Year (five in a row and
counting). |
| 53. |
The chance to pick
which Braves pitcher wins the Cy Young. (Are you listening, Denny
Neagle?) |
| 54. |
Third base coaches
giving signs. |
| 55. |
Michael Jordon is
sticking to hoops. |
| 56. |
Brian Jordan, former
Pro Bowl defensive back and current St. Louis Cardinals star
outfielder, is forgoing football. |
| 57. |
The 1996-1997 Boston
Celtics. |
| 58. |
Some player thought
to be in the twilight of his career will turn back the clock.
(The 1996 crop: Roger Clemens fans 20; Dwight Gooden tosses first
career no-hitter; Gary Gaetti flashes renewed home run swing.) |
| 59. |
The All-Star Home
Run Derby. |
| 60. |
Leagues Grapefruit
and Cactus. |
| 61. |
A chance to see if
Aussie Graeme Lloyd can actually pitch more than on inning for
the Yankees without some announcer using the phrase "Down
Under." |
| 62. |
Teams who, believe
it or not, are actually using the same uniform motif and colors
for the second year in a row. |
| 63. |
The hope, if dim,
that one starting pitcher, on a team not based in Atlanta, will
be allowed to go the full nine innings. |
| 64. |
The sound of wooden
bat meeting ball. |
| 65. |
Sox. White, Red, Blue,
Argyle, whatever. |
| 66. |
World Series broadcasts:
This year they'll be land-mined solely by the usual and numbing
corporate hectoring of Nike/GM/Bud Light, and not also
by nasty and numbing political commercials. |
| 67. |
It's the 100th anniversary
of five-foot-four-inch Wee Willie "Hit 'em where they ain't"
Keeler's greatest (and only) .400 season, a phenomenal .432 in
1897. |
| 68. |
It's the 50th anniversary
of Al Gionfriddo's famous World Series catch against Joe DiMaggio.
(The Dodgers won the game, but naturally, managed to lose the
Series.) |
| 69. |
It's the 25th anniversary
of Oakland A's catcher Gene Tenace's becoming the first player
ever to homer in his first two World Series at bats. Okay, maybe
this one's a stretch. |
| 70. |
Speed guns. |
| 71. |
On Opening Day, all
27 clubs who didn't win the 1996 World Series will fully believe
that they have learned from last year's mistakes. |
| 72. |
For Pittsburgh Pirates
fans: only 13 weeks to the start of Steelers training camp. |
| 73. |
For Houston Astros
fans: This September can't possibly be worse than last year's
shoot-self-in-foot September. |
| 74. |
For Boston Red Sox
Fans: This April can't possibly be worse than last year's dig-crater-too-huge-to-climb-out-of
April. (Also for Red Sox fans, as well as everyone else, Mo Vaughn.) |
| 75. |
For St. Louis Cardinals
fans: the chance to erase the sting of a 32-1 hammering by the
Braves in the final three games of the season. |
| 76. |
For Atlanta Braves
fans: the chance to see the team break its current losing streak
(four games). |
| 77. |
For Los Angeles Dodgers
fans: the chance to see the team actually win a playoff game.
(The Dodgers' 1995-1996 postseason record: 0-6, twice swept;
with a total of 14 hits in three games last year against Atlanta
starters, and the unique honor of not having produced a single
homer.) |
| 78. |
For Baltimore Orioles
fans: Roberto Alomar can't possibly do anything as vulgar in
1997 as he did in '96. |
| 79. |
For Seattle Mariners
fans: the renewed hope that they will finally see what Ken Griffey
Jr. can do during the course of a season in which he doesn't
break part of his body. |
| 80. |
For San Diego Padres
fans: the chance to see if MVP third baseman Ken Caminiti, whose
stats improved dramatically each of the past four years, will
require a league of his own. |
| 81. |
For Cincinnati Reds
fans: Owner Marge Schott's exile continues. |
| 82. |
For Chicago White
Sox fans: the sight of opposing pitchers stepping off the mound
and wondering what is the point of pitching around All-World
slugger Frank Thomas when what awaits them is pitching to All-World
slugger Albert Belle. Or vice versa. |
| 83. |
For Detroit Tigers
fans: a staff ERA under six. Well, then seven. |
| 84. |
For Philadelphia Phillies
fans: Perhaps this is the year the Phillie Phanatic - garishly
green, ubiquitous, irritating as hell - finally pulls a groin
muscle, sidelining him for six months. |
| 85. |
For Florida Marlins
fans: Kevin Brown (1996 ERA: .189) has teammates named Moises
Alou, Bobby Bonilla, Gary Sheffield, Devon White, Alex Fernandez... |
| 86. |
For Toronto Blue Jays:
The Rocket has landed. |
| 87. |
For Anaheim - yes,
Anaheim - Angels fans: If nothing else, this hard-luck team has
to be more uplifting then the O.J. trials. |
| 88. |
For Montreal Expos
fans: They can still get more American dollars for their currency
than Russians can for theirs. |
| 89. |
For San Francisco
Giants fans: outfielder Barry Bonds. No matter how hard he tries
to annoy, he is still the greatest player of the 1990s. |
| 90. |
For Oakland A's fans:
the most spectacular batting practice team in baseball. |
| 91. |
For Milwaukee Brewers
fans: the monikers Brew Crew and Cheeseheads (perhaps that last
one's a little tired now). |
| 92. |
For Arizona Diamondbacks
fans: continued psyching up for next season, when club records
will surely be broken like never before. |
| 93. |
For New York Mets
fans: an April free of the hype - well, as free of hype as a
New York sports team's season ever gets - that last year humbled
(can you say "humiliated"?) a pitching staff still
soaking wet behind the ears. |
| 94. |
For Chicago Cubs fans:
Seriously, why is this year different from all other years? |
| 95. |
For Colorado Rockies
fans: relief (a concept foreign to their hurlers) that the rumored
league resolution - to exempt all non-Colorado-based pitching
staffs from having to take the mound at Coors Field - probably
won't pass. |
| 96. |
For Cleveland Indians
fans: a chance for the best American League team for the past
three seasons to bring home more than just the 1995 pennant,
and to show that there is life after the Belle. |
| 97. |
For Minnesota Twins
fans: Paul Molitor, living Geritol commercial. Since the second
half of Molitor's terrific career has improved on the first half
- a rare and astonishing feat - then what about his going after
Hank Aaron's hallowed third place spot on the all-time hits list
(only 757 to go)? |
| 98. |
For Kansas City Royals
fans: excellent beef. (For vegetarian Royals fans, there's not
much to say.) |
| 99. |
For Texas Rangers
fans: a chance to see how far a talented team can go, now that
the "Never made the postseason before, so how will they
screw it up this September?" label is gone. |
| 100. | For Tampa Bay Devil Rays fans: See
reason no. 92. |
| 101. | At some point, a lazy pop foul that
even you or I could catch will fall, untouched, in the midst
of four infielders from our team's opponent, a gift. |
| 102. | Two games up, but three in the all-important
loss column. |
| 103. | One hundred eight double stitches
in every regulation baseball. |
| 104. | The old-fashioned, to-the-knee sock
height favored by the Braves' Chipper Jones and the Mets' Jason
Isringhausen. |
| 105. | Punching the glove before the ball
lands in it. |
| 106. | Box scores. This is the only sport
whose games you can actually reconstruct the morning after by
reading the fine print. |
| 107. | Let's play two. |
| 108. | We understand better how to pronounce
Montreal infielder Mark Grudzielanek's last name, and we're hoping
to learn more about Atlanta outfielder Andruw Jones' first. |
| 109. | In the NFL, the Carolina Panthers
are part of the Western Division. |
| 110. | Some player will homer in his first
game after his wife delivers. (Darryl Strawberry, who plays no
favorites, homered in the first games after the birth of each
of his first two kids.) |
| 111. | Satellite dishes and big-screen
TVs, for the junkie in all of us. |
| 112. | Unlike in the military (excuse me;
I mean football), the top guy doesn't wear a headset and his
tactical unit strategists (excuse me; I mean coaches) aren't
sequestered way up in sky boxes, calling plays. |
| 113. | The column of numbers under "G,"
for "Games," on Cal Ripken Jr.'s new baseball card. |
| 114. | Outfielders who toss third outs
and foul balls to the nearest young or old fan. |
| 115. | All the records that were not
broken last year. (A truckload of them were, most of them hitting,
most of them home run.) |
| 116. | We get to see American League pitchers
hit... or swing, anyway. |
| 117. | The raised consciousness of overweight
umpires. Because of the tragedy of John McSherry's Opening Day
death last year in Marge Schott's house, they've learned the
necessity of keeping fit. |
| 118. | The elimination of bull pen cars.
They were cute, but come on. |
| 119. | The inner peace one gets from knowing
something truly and deeply: that it's not possible for baseball's
owners to get any greedier than they are right now (and, in fairness,
probably always have been). |
| 120. | Former Detroit and Cincinnati manager
Sparky Anderson will start using higher sunblock. |
| 121. | Derek Jeter. |
| 122. | Bernie Williams. |
| 123. | Andy Pettite. |
| 124. | Rooting for the Yankees is no longer
akin to cheering for U.S. Steel. |
| 125. | Now that they have a new group on
winners, perhaps this season Yankees fans won't have to sit through
another 4,000 testimonials to the greatness of the cold, haughty
Joe DiMaggio. |
| 126. | Maybe this year, talented but tortured
Paul O'Neill will make an out just once with wanting to commit
Harry Caray. |
| 127. | It is rumored that 12-year-old Jeffrey
Maier has been playing winter ball. |
| 128. | After his disappointing year, pitcher
Kenny Rogers will still hold a place in the hearts of New Yorkers,
so long as he keeps serving up that great chicken. |
| 129. | The 1996 World Series image of Wade
Boggs riding a horse on the Yankee Stadium warning track supplants
the 1986 World Series image of Wade Boggs in the Shea Stadium
dugout, sobbing in defeat. |
| 130. | When future teams lose the first
two World Series games at home, mindless sportswriters will not
be able to force-feed us the "Put-a-fork-in-'em, they're-done"
notion. |
| 131. | If you're a Republican, former Phillies
pitching great Jim Bunning's in Congress. |
| 132. | If you're a Democrat, Steve Garvey
isn't. |
| 133. | The hope that cliche-addicted stars
will stop referring to themselves in the third person. (The fourth
person, maybe?) |
| 134. | The democracy (shame on you, ballot
stuffers) of voting for your favorite All-Stars. |
| 135. | A pitcher shaking off his catcher's
call for the breaking ball because he wants to bring pure heat,
just as he did when he was younger and threw baseballs through
old tires hung from the trees. |
| 136. | Fox TV's smart use of the upper
left corner of the screen to show, continuously, the score, inning,
number of outs, and runners on base. |
| 137. | One of these guys - Chicago's Albert
Belle or Frank Thomas, Oakland's Mark McGwire, Seattle's Ken
Griffey Jr., Boston's Mo Vaughn - is poised to break Roger Maris'
season home run record of 61. Full speed ahead, and damn the
asterisks. |
| 138. | The seventh-inning stretch. |
| 139. | Infielders Jose Vizcaino and Jeff
Kent, traded together from the Mets to the Indians, then traded
together from the Indians to the Giants, will start their won
vaudeville act. |
| 140. | You'll see something (no matter
how long you've been watching baseball) you've never seen before.
So will veteran announcers such as Vin Scully and Tim McCarver;
so will Buddha-in-the-Yankees-dugout Don Zimmer. |
| 141. | Great old stories from former players-turned-announcers,
during rain delays. |
| 142. | Los Angeles' Hideo Nomo, whose pitching
genius will become even more apparent as Americans grow used
to the idea that baseball greatness can come from hemispheres
other than our own. |
| 143. | Managers going with their hunches
despite computer printouts that tell them the odds favor making
the righty-lefty switch. And hunching correctly. |
| 144. | A home run trot. Even when there's
some swagger, it still isn't as irritating as an end zone dance-and
spike. |
| 145. | We finally see who wins the winter-long
bet over which manager loses his job first. (Jim Riggleman of
the Chicago Cubs, are you listening?) |
| 146. | For former Mets, the spirit of the
phoenix. Yes, you can rise again, from drug abuse (Dwight
Gooden), from tax evasion (Darryl Strawberry), from aneurysm
(David Cone). |
| 147. | Another season for those rarest
of present-day name players - San Diego's Tony Gwynn, Cincinnati's
Barry Larkin - who stay with one team their whole careers, and
in so doing actually show the hometown faithful (brace yourself)
some respect. |
| 148. | Fewer total homers. Round trippers
can't be as plentiful this season as last (they simply can't),
and sports highlights can't possibly be so reverential of the
dozens of freakish, opposite-field taters being hit by every
anemic infielder (see Elster, Kevin). |
| 149. | Bases loaded, with no outs and a
2-0 count on our no. 3 hitter. |
| 150. | Yogi may never again set foot inside
Yankee Stadium, but he's still around somewhere, because that's
where he is. |
| 151. | Seven months of ESPN SportsCenter
diamond highlights. |
| 152. | To quote the marvelous sportswriter
Red Smith: "Ninety feet between home plate and first base
may be the closest man has ever come to perfection." |
| 153. | Play ball! |
| 154. | I lied. This, and not no.162, is
my last reason why we're glad baseball is back. Why lie? To make
my point that certain things - clever lists, say, or baseball
seasons - can go on just a little too long. |
